I confess that my husband has been playing Skyrim with a devotion I did not know existed.
Oh, I can’t confess for him?
Ok. Then I can confess that I could match his love of this new video game with my love of financial planning. I got to looking at the spreadsheets again tonight. I can’t help myself from pausing to replay the numbers. We’ve never been this close to paying off the essentials, like student loans. After many strategic moves and months of wrangling numbers, we are getting closer and closer to having very little overhead. And with lower overhead comes greater flexibility, which is the true objective in all of this. We daydream about heading to warm, beautiful places for a month at a time once everything is paid off. I imagine going away on writing retreats a few times a year, or investing in people and organizations who can help bring creative experiences here.
On a related note, I confess that I spend too much time looking at travel websites, browsing for deals and soaking up the sun via over-edited promotional photos. I am already imagining where we might go early next year, when the snow has overstayed its welcome.
I confess that for all my talk of sunny vacations, I am excited for the holidays, and even snow. The older I get the more I like snow. I miss it when it starts getting dark early. A layer of fresh snow can make the entire backyard a night light, especially during a full moon. Now that the leaves have fallen for the most part and the color show is over, I’m wishing for a bit of snow to brighten things up.
I confess that tonight Carl asked me how I feel about how this year went — accomplishments, highlights, etc. It made me realize that everything I imagined for this year at the end of 2010 either did not happen or changed. At the end of 2010, I thought I had a platform that would produce some things I thought I wanted. But by January 2011, the ground was already shifting. In some ways, the spots where I thought I had the clearest path became the murkiest. What was supposed to be a year of productivity became a time of transition. I’m happy for it because I’m happy where I am now. But I’m also curious about what this means for 2012.
Finally, I confess that my heart is already skipping forward to this weekend, which I will spend with some of my most favorite women. I’ve never done the “girlfriends” thing very well — I confess I prefer solitude to a confab of women going shopping. (Something about the group shopping experience in particular always makes me feel depleted.) So to spend an entire weekend with a group of women means this is a very rare connection. These are women who get together with wine and whiteboards to map out their life plans and hypothesize ways to make West Michigan a more open-minded place. These are women who get a lot of the credit for me staying in this community… they are brilliant, compassionate, and make me laugh until it hurts.
And thanks to them, I suppose Carl will have the whole weekend to himself to play Skyrim — everyone wins! (Kidding.)